Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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