Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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