You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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