You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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