Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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