I hate your face
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
