question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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