My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize