just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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