it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
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he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
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My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize