why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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