Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
