My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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