Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
