You smell like stripper and shame
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
