I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
