not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
How's work?
Spinning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
