There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
there is puke in my bra ... again
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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