he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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