we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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