Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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