Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
