Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
cat food counts as protein by the way
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
