fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
