I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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