Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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