ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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