my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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