WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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