Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
