come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We have so much sex to catch up on
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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