Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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