you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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