Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
