At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.