remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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