I hope mine doesn't look like that
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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