he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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