***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
