Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize