Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
