do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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