just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
