I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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