Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
not ubering you a puppy
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
