i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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