So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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