Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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