just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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