Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
