Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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