I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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