Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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