Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
