my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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