I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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