You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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