why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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