I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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